5 days, 1 Ghana! – Day 2: Chops, more chops, even more chops!

Day 2: History, Nature, Shax, Shake Bodi small…

• One day excursion to Cape Coast. Visiting the Cape coast castle and Kakum National Parks

Evening Options:

• Hit Reggae club/show @ Labadi Beach Hotel
• Drinks at The Honeysuckle (English style pub. Great food, great crowd)

Explore Alliance Françoise for events

Day 2: Chops, more chops, even more chops, shax, shake bodi small…

As expected, plans started to change a little bit. My itinerary was optimized for a solo trip but after having connected with some really cool Ghana peeps, I was now privy to some other local activities and had a lot more options. The day got off to a slow start and I got the 411 on a BBQ that was going down in Osu later that day. We decided to reschedule the History/Nature tour for the next day and I went over to my new friends place in Abelemkpe for an amazing breakfast of peanut soup and rice balls. I’m not entirely sure if that is a typical Ghanaian breakfast but it was certainly was the stuff  champions are made of! On the way to Abelemkpe, after roaming charges had eaten up all my MTN-Naija credit, I picked up a local SIM card for GH1.50 in the traffic on Olusegun Obasanjo Way. A well constructed dual carriage way going through the heart of Accra. Not sure what that story is with that, but I got nothing bad to say about the man. By now I was starting to form my initial impressions about Ghana. Extremely nice and pleasant people, oozing a sense of cultural pride and patriotism. Fairly solid infrastructure, good roads and the supply of electricity hadn’t even blinked once. Overall, things were looking very promising and I was feeling Ghana.

For some strange reason, it was all a blur after breakfast and the next thing I remember was departing for the BBQ. Upon arrival, the first thing I noticed was this ingenious mobile punch dispenser. (In case you were wondering what that was! Lol). That was a scream! I am not ashamed to say that I soon became his #1 customer. Very nice setup, plenty of food and drink, DJ spinning some nice reggae jams in one corner. We caught the remains of some animal that had been roasted whole. There seemed to be some sort of ceremony around that and someone was kind enough to educate me on the process.

Step 1: Roast a whole animal, set aside the head and the entrails.

Step 2: Consume the roasted animal.

Step 3: Use the entrails collected in step 1 to prepare pepper soup.

Step 4: Consume the pepper soup. (This usually performs a soft reset on your system, brings you back under the legal limit and kicks off the after party).

Step 5: Next morning, the head that was collected in step 1 is cooked and “consummated”. (Kindly note that this is for the survivors only!).

Overall, a very nice BBQ. Despite strutting around in a green and white t-shirt proudly proclaiming that I was NaijaMade, I was welcomed with open arms and lots and lots of punch. Several random conversations with random people revealed that we had some friends in common. It’s such a small world man! People, you for always try to do good o!

Since some of us didn’t make it past Step 2, we opted for the less hardcore version… A late night visit to Casa Muina for some fish peppersoup and some samosas while we were waiting. (Both heavenly, I might add!). The queen of the castle really could throw down!

Headed home shortly after to get some rest since we had a long day ahead of us and needed to get an early start.

Killer Day 2 overall and as my dear friend Spyda always says… “The owner of the something is the chopper and not the hungry man!”

5 days, 1 Ghana! – Day 1: Road trip, Hotel Check in, chop, baff and tins!

Road trip from Lagos to Accra with mid afternoon arrival. Checkin, relax. Quick taxi ride to La Palm Beach to hang out for the rest of the day. (Thai massage at La Palm Beach Hotel is said to be the best in Ghana!). One minute away from the hotel is the Artists Alliance for a variety of souvenirs & all types of art from paintings, sculptures, postcards, etc.

I set out at about 5:30am that morning. I had purchased a round trip ticket on the second bus to Accra for N12,900 and was scheduled to depart from the Amuwo Odofin Bus Terminal at 7:30am. For some strange reason, I thought our estimated arrival time in Ghana was at about 2:30pm but that was not the case at all. I should have known I was in for an interesting trip when we ended up in the middle of Festac after obtaining directions from some area boys. After we drove around in circles for about 15 minutes, we employed the use of a third world, turn-by-turn GPS Navigation system (Okada) to get us to the bus terminal. (Sidebar: I was surprised at the number of people jogging early that morning in Festac!). I finally arrived at the terminal and was instructed to go confirm my ticket and weigh my luggage before departure.

Oga, dis na virgin passport, you have to pay N400 for stamping.

What do you mean? I have used this passport many times before. See now…

Have you ever travelled to Ghana… by road?

Um.. No.

You have to pay for the stamping. It is N400.

Ok.

Oga, do you have yellow card?

No.

Oga, you need yellow card to enter Ghana but you can pay N400 for medical clearance.

Ok.

Shortly after, I completed my weigh in (yes, they charge for excess luggage on the bus o!), security and luggage search and boarded the bus. As we idled, a young well dressed man came onboard and introduced himself as Associate Pastor Humble. He was here to pray for safe travels and journey mercies. He led us in praise and worship, shared a quick sermon and then prayed. Some other passengers requested personalized prayers and for a small “gift” he would pray for them.  About 20 minutes later, we finally left the bus terminal two hours after the scheduled time.

Good morning passengers. My name is Euphemia and will be your hostess today. Our driver will be Mr Calistus. We also have an NDLEA officer on the bus who will accompany us to Seme Border. We shall be crossing three borders today: Seme Border between Nigeria and Bene Republic, the border between Bene Republic and Togo and the border between Togo and Ghana.

Please be advised that the toilet is for urinary purposes only. Please do not go there to defecate. Be mindful of what u consume on the way. If u are so pressed, please alert us and we will stop somewhere so you can defecate.

Shortly after we departed, we were each given an ABC Transport branded travel kit containing toothpaste, a toothbrush, a comb and some other stuff. An hour into the journey, we were served with “brunch” packs containing Jollof Rice and two pieces of fried chicken. I was starving at this point and quickly wolfed it down. I chased the meal with an Odeku and had some Imodium for dessert. By now, we were well on our way and Euphemia put on some Nollywood movies and we all settled down amidst the all the side commentary for the rest of the journey.

At the Seme border, we had to get off the bus and walk across the border to the Bene Republic side. As expected, there were lots of border hustlers trying to sell you all sorts of stuff. They had everything from cheap fabric, bootleg perfumes and CD’s, shoes and chewing gum to migrant brand condoms and cigars. I actually had quite a bit of fun at the border…

Dis one na fake!

No o!  Oga, I swear, this one na original Isi Miyach.

Ok. I believe you. What of dis moccasin? Na real Sebago?

We all boarded the coach and continued our journey through Bene Republic. I slept through most of this leg of the journey and didn’t wake up till we approached the Togolese border. We were given the usual instructions to disembark and walk across the border. MTN’s roaming service promptly announced our arrival into Togo… Y’ello! MTN Nigeria wishes you a safe and productive stay in Togo. TG-Togo-Cell.

Dear passengers, we have just 15 minutes at this border. Please make it snappy. If u take more than 15 minutes, kindly find your way to the next border. If you need to ease yourself, please don’t just do it anywhere to avoid custom embarrassment. Your vehicle number remains 567.

This border seemed to have a lot more going than the previous one. It had the usual border hustlers calling you names like “Scholar” and “Yellow”, money changers and even more bootleg stuff and lots and lots of Mark Ecko t-shirts. (BTW, I am far from yellow but I guess it’s all relative. Lol!). They also had quite a lot of food for sale and I got curious…

Fried chicken, fried yam, fried turkey wings and… and…

Madam… Wetin be dis? Na nyansh?

Oga, Na Nyansh o!

I passed up the turkey “nyansh” and negotiated for some wings instead. I ducked behind a wall to take a whiz and we got back on the coach and headed for Ghana. Overall, Togo seemed a bit dry but I did notice some really beautiful and undeveloped ocean front views as we drove through the country.

I dozed off again, full of turkey wings and the last of the Odeku and woke up when we got to the Togo/Ghana border. We we required to take our luggage off the coach for a search by the Ghanaian customs. Once we had cleared customs and got back on the coach, I was shocked to find out that we were still about four hours from Accra! I promptly asked Euphemia about how to get a refund for the return leg of my trip because I quickly realized that this adventure would only be fun if it was a one way trip.

We finally made it into Accra around 8pm and I took a taxi to my hotel. A hot shower, massage and change of clothes and I was as good as new! Clearly, it was way too late to start looking for souvenirs as per my original plans but the night was still young. A friend picked me up from the hotel and we kicked off the night by having drinks at the African Regent Hotel (check). I ran into my brothers friend there and they were on their way to Bella Rosa to get something to eat so we decided to tag along. (I actually ran into another friend at Bella Rosa!). I overheard someone talking about going to “Efos” to get some chicken and rice and signed up for that instead. That was a meal that I won’t forget in a hurry. It was nice man!

Overall, a great Day 1 in Ghana… Check!

5 days, 1 Ghana! – Day 0

For many years, I have been thinking of visiting Ghana. I finally decided to make it happen as part of my last trip to Nigeria and put an itinerary together. A combination of Google, Timeout Accra and feedback from a very nice someborri produced the itinerary below. To make the trip even more interesting, I decided to travel by road (i.e. public transportation) to Ghana from Lagos. (Many thought I had lost it at this point!).

This is the first installment of a multi part series. Yeah, I had that much fun in Ghana!

Day 1: Road trip, Hotel Check in, chop, baff and tins!

Road trip from Lagos to Accra with mid afternoon arrival. Checkin, relax. Quick taxi ride to La Palm Beach to hang out for the rest of the day. (Thai massage at La Palm Beach Hotel is said to be the best in Ghana!). One minute away from the hotel is the Artists Alliance for a variety of souvenirs & all types of art from paintings, sculptures, postcards, etc.

Day 2: History, Nature, Shax, Shake Bodi small…

• One day excursion to Cape Coast. Visiting the Cape coast castle and Kakum National Parks

Evening Options:

• Hit Reggae club/show @ Labadi Beach Hotel
• Drinks at The Honeysuckle (English style pub. Great food, great crowd)
• Explore Alliance Françoise for events

Day 3: Brunch, Art, Explore Accra, New Years Eve…

Late Morning Options (Brunch):

• Venus
• Melting Moments (great food, décor)

Early Afternoon:

• Visit the Art Center for good prices and variety of souvenirs
• Pass by the famous Independence Square where Kwame Nkrumah gave Ghana’s independence speech
• Shopping, city sights, souvenirs

Late Lunch Options (Bukka Style):

• Country Kitchen
• Katawodieso

Evening/Night Options:

• Cocktails @ the African Regent Hotel
• Cocktails (take II) at Rhapsody’s
• Bless the Mike @ Baze Lounge

Day 4: New Years Day! Beach, swmming, chill and serious shake bodi!

Morning/Early afternoon:

• Labadi Beach Hotel (Good restaurant, ambience & swimming)

Afternoon:

• Lunch @ Buka Restaraunt (Good food, good crowd)

Early Evening:

• Cocktails/Dinner @ Monsoon. Great sushi bar, 90% Oyinbo joint

Late Night Options:

• Remas (Soul and motion night)
• Tantra
• XL (upscale)
• Citizen Kofi (4 different dance floors with a restaurant on the top floor)

Day 5: Depart for Lagos after a smashing time in Accra!

Naija State of Mind!

With all the attention our dear country has been getting of late; the attempted Christmas day bombing, our MIA Presido, enough is enough rallys and protests, the high profile talks hinting at a failed state, my recent trip home and my resulting profiling at Newark International airport upon my return, Naija has been weighing heavily on my mind. I was on my way out of the house this morning when I was suddenly overwhelmed by a sense of patriotism and went back upstairs to Naijarize my accessories so all should recognize that I’m also “Naija Outside”.

So I got into the car and started my early morning commute to work. The Alicia Keys CD I had bought just before I left for Naija was still in heavy rotation in my CD player. One of my favorite songs on the CD, “Empire State of Mind” came on and I was merrily singing along when I suddenly realized that there was something about the song that sounded so familiar. Could she be singing about… Lagos?

You self listen well…

Famous as a place of movie Nollywood scenes…

Noise is always loud, there are sirens all around and the streets are mean…

If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere that’s what they say…

Even if it ain’t all it seems I’ve got a pocket full of dreams, baby I’m from New York Lagos…

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there’s nothing you can’t do…

Now you are in New York Lagos… These streets will make you feel brand new, big no light will inspire you (Just ask someone how much they spend on diesel every month to run their generators and you’ll certainly be inspired!)…

Hear it for New York Lagos…

On the Avenue Sanusi Fafunwa, there ain’t never a curfew, ladies work so hard…

Hail an gypsy cab okada… takes me from Harlem Obalende to the Brooklyn Bridge Ebutte Meta.

Speaking of which… Where is Banky? I beg, come and “Ebutte metta” this one for us too! (I have since been informed that Banky did not disappoint and already has the Lagos remix in circulation. I beg, who get am?)

I’ve thought about this one hundred and one ways and there is no one I would rather be than a Nigerian. Being Naija is what makes it possible for me to speak big grammar in front of  executive management and also tear broken while negotiating with the dude selling bootleg CDs in Lagos traffic. (Ol boy, whish wan you dey naaa?). It is what allows me to travel from Lagos to Accra by PT (big up ABC Transport Company) and then check into one of the best hotels in Ghana for the night. It’s what taught me how to confidently rock a double Windsor at work and then totally rock some old school guinea brocade or Ankara at the owambe later that night. It is what makes me close my office door at lunch time so I can destroy my jollof rice, moin-moin, dodo and fowl with my hands in peace and then Kung-Fu some some sushi, sashimi and other mede mede at dinner time armed with a pair of bamboo chopsticks. It is what makes me… NaijaMan!

One hand in the air for the big city, streets lights, big dreams all looking pretty (In case you didn’t see the Christmas lights on Ajose Adeogun courtesy of Zenith bank), no place in the world that can compare… Put your lighters in the air everybody say yeah…

The danger of a single story

Every now and then, I can be found cruising the TED website for some random inspiration. Their tagline “Riveting talks by remarkable people, free to the world” is spot on and really does feature some pretty remarkable people and their equally remarkable points of view and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is certainly no exception.

I was somewhat familiar with her novel, Half of a Yellow Sun which caused a stir of excitement when it came out a few years ago. I recall seeing so many Nigerians proudly displaying their copies and talking about how great it was. Despite the fact that I consider myself an avid reader, (I consume at least 4 books a month and bits and pieces of many more) I refused to read Half of A Yellow Sun simply because “I don’t read fiction”. However, after gleaning some information from Chimamanda’s website in preparation for this post, I realized that in my ignorance I had fallen into the very trap Chimamanda warned of by assuming a single story of fiction!

So what is this book really about?  The quote below from her website says it way better than I ever can.

“Epic, ambitious, and triumphantly realized, Half of a Yellow Sun is a remarkable novel about moral responsibility, about the end of colonialism, about ethnic allegiances, about class and race—and the ways in which love can complicate them all.”

Needless to say, my copy should be here as soon as Amazon can get it to me and who knows, there might be a book review on here someday!

Miss Virginity… Only In Naija.

So I stumbled on this article a few days ago. Someone decided to have a “Miss Virginity” pageant in Lagos! To ensure that each of the contestants was really a virgin, Dr Ekemode, a Lagos based consultant gynaecologist examined every one of them. Only 43 of the 60 registrants were “certified” to be virgins.

Link to original article below:

http://www.vanguardngr.com/content/view/28624/154/

All photo credits to Vanguard Nigeria online edition.

NaijaMade… Coming to a store near you!

I finally attended the 2008 Nigerian day parade in NYC and despite the rain, there was a pretty good turnout. I had a great time helping a friend publicize her new social networking website. It was nice to see all the Naija’s in full effect strutting their green and whites all day.

I took advantage of the celebrations to launch NaijaMade: NaijaMan’s T-Shirt line. Many thanks to everyone who bought a t-shirt that day and encouraged me to take this dream to the next level. Send me a message if you’d like to preorder.

Update: 04/28/09. The NaijaMade.com v1.0 launched today. Currently carrying just the Naija Day parade selection. We are working on the summer line and will update the online offering shortly!

TGIF’s Dodo Sandwich!

So I’m at Friday’s last night after work and I’m browsing through the menu looking for some chops and I was like huh?? Is that a dodo sandwich? “No, it’s a chipotle grilled steak sandwich”. Whareva!

I’ve cooked plantains in lots of different ways and eaten it with lots of different things but I never ever imagined that fried plantains would feel at home between two slices of bread. 

Boiled plantain, fried plantain (dodo), plantain chips, dodo and beans, dodo and egg, dodo and yam and Islamia’s banging dodo gizzard but a dodo sandwich? That one pass me.

What’s for dinner tonight? I’m thinking Egusi Pizza with some goat meat toppings. Recipe to follow.

Nigerian Gangster…

The Afrobeat remix of the American Gangster Album brought to you by DJ Mike Love.

Click HERE to download.

Tracklisting:

1. Intro – “Army Arrangement” from, the Best Of Fela Kuti (2000), “VIP” from, VIP (1979)
2. Pray – “Sorrow Tears And Blood” from, the Best Of Fela Kuti (2000)
3. American Dreaming – “Upside Down” from Album, Upside Down (1976)
4. Hello Brooklyn – “Mistake” from Live! (With Ginger Baker), (1971)
5. No Hook – “Ariya” from album, Roforofo Fight/The Fela Singles (1972) (2006)
6. Roc Boys – “Water No Get Enemy” from, Expensive Shit, (1975), “Mop / movement of the people” from  Live in Amsterdam (1984), “Stop The Violence” from, By Any Means Necessary-BDP (1988).
7. Sweet – “My Lady Frustration”  The’69, Los Angeles Sessions (1993)
8. I Know – “Confusion” from, Confusion (1975)
9. Party Life – “Viva Nigeria” from, The Los Angeles Sessions ’69, (1993)
10. Ignorant Shit – “Fear Not For Man” from, Stalemate (1977)
11. Say Hello – “Coffin For Head Of State” from, the Best Of Fela Kuti (2000), “Mr. Grammarticalologylisatitiona Is The Boss”  Monkey Banana, (1976)
12. Success – “Swegbe And Pako” from, Open & Close (1971)
13. Falling – “Mattress” from, Noise For Vendor Mouth (1975)
14. Blue Magic – “Water No Get Enemy” from, Expensive Shit, (1975)
15. American Gangster – “Kalakuta Show” from, Kalakuta Show (1976), “Wayo” The’69, Los Angeles Sessions (1993)

I am a Naijapolitan!

So i just finished talking to a recruiter who is so excited about all the Naijas he has placed over the past few months. Dude was trying to tell me how smart we are… Watch out peoples… we are taking over!

Who or what is a Naijapolitan? I jacked the word from Afropolitan: The Africa movement that’s spreading like wild fire.