When you kill us, we will rule.

by Femi Sanyaolu (Keziah Jones).

(Chimurenga) I had planned to visit the Shrine¹ the night I arrived in Lagos but never made it. My sister Dupe, who knew some of the band Egypt 80, then took me to the Kalakuta Republic². But each time we got there, every day for a week, we were told Fela is sleeping. On the fifth day, Sunday June 11, 1996, we decided to wait. We waited six hours. By that time he had stopped giving conventional interviews and was not talking with journalists. I sensed someone who truly loved himself and all peoples, but who has been persecuted for speaking truth, by the very same people it was designed to uplift. In the middle of our conversation there was an electricity failure and the second half of our talk took place in the dark. In Yoruba cosmology, some things happen outside of the logic of time and space. This felt like one of those moments. When I left he came out to greet me from his balcony—an unusually polite gesture from the Chief. It’s under that very balcony that over a million people gathered, around a year later, to wish a safe passage to the Black President.

Ayo – Joyful

 

Her name is Ayo (Joy), her style is “AfroAcousticReggaeSoul”, her flow is mellow and her message is Love.

I first heard “Down on my knees” in the spring of ’06 and probably didn’t pay as much attention to it as I should have. Ayo sings of a love so deep and unconditional I can’t even start to comprehend. As I listened to the song, I kept wondering… Why is she begging and crying for this bobo like this? Down on my knees ke? I guess love really is stronger than pride and I’m starting to wonder if it’s time to suck it up, face Lagos, get down on my knees and beg. (If y’all are looking for a more objective CD review, there is a correct one on Amazon.com. J).

“Without you” gives me yet another reason to be proud to be a Naijaman. Ayo offers a sincere appreciation for her father’s influence on her life and how he was always there for them while they dealt with her mother’s struggle with drug addiction which she sings about in “How many times”.

“And it’s supposed to be love” picks up the pace with a pleasant and familiar air that I just can’t seem to put my finger on. “Watching you“, “Only you” and “Neva Been”, brings us some more of that ‘I go die’ love.

From the feel good, airy vibe of “Help is coming” to “These days” (one of my favorite songs on the album), she sings a message of hope. The catchy “Life is real” comes to you straight from the back of an okada on the streets of Lagos. I tell you, it doesn’t get any realer than that!

As she wraps it up, Ayo asks “What is love?” Well, pop in the “Joyful” CD on a lovely Sunday evening like I did and you will surely find the answer.

Four joyful stars for this one!

Click HERE for the Joyful CD.

April 15th, 2008 Update:

I was fortunate enough to see Ayo perform last night at Hiro in New York and if she was a stock, I’d put all my money in her right now! The joyful CD does absolutely no justice to her capabilities. I recommend you to go see her live whenever you get a chance. You’ll be blown away. I’m looking forward to the new album and will feature it here once I get my hands on it. I’m predicting a 5 Star sophomore album. She’s going to be huge y’all! HUGE!

TGIF’s Dodo Sandwich!

So I’m at Friday’s last night after work and I’m browsing through the menu looking for some chops and I was like huh?? Is that a dodo sandwich? “No, it’s a chipotle grilled steak sandwich”. Whareva!

I’ve cooked plantains in lots of different ways and eaten it with lots of different things but I never ever imagined that fried plantains would feel at home between two slices of bread. 

Boiled plantain, fried plantain (dodo), plantain chips, dodo and beans, dodo and egg, dodo and yam and Islamia’s banging dodo gizzard but a dodo sandwich? That one pass me.

What’s for dinner tonight? I’m thinking Egusi Pizza with some goat meat toppings. Recipe to follow.

Dozie – Redemption

Aaaaahh… Excuse me dance…
You just dey fine, dey kack
Ah ah!, Madam, which one now?
Ehn? Ah, no o! Make we just commot here, go one corner
You know say you fine pass. That is, eh…
No, noo.. I just wan yarn you small…
Make you and me dey make music, shey you get?
I beg, let us get down
You no be woman? You wan be lady?
Problem no dey, now…
Wetin be your name self? 

– Magdalena (Track #10)

After hearing Dozie engage Magda in broken English, I quickly realized that I had to brush up on my toasting skills and quickly ordered the CD. (I might be an Ibadan boy but I love me some Igbo babes!).

The album kicks off with “Uwa Ke” (dis life self!) which reminds us about the ups and downs of this thing we call love. “You know it’s just a game that we’ve got to play… ‘Cause it’s all just part of life”. This jam is so tight that for a long time, I never even made it to track 2, “Gabriels Lounge” which is song about losing those we love to the afterlife and the ensuing feelings.

Before the documentaries, before Kanye, before the movie, the Naija “Soldier” tells the sad story of what we now know as Blood/Conflict Diamonds. “I got the knife. Long Sleeve or short sleeve? I guarantee you won’t have no hands to fight us back”.

 

This is a Public Service Announcement to all the omoges out there:

If “Sensuality” starts playing and na only me and you dey, you better RUN if you are not ready to be a superstar. That song is not for small children! ‘Nuff Said!

 

In “Onwu Obi”, (death of the heart) he sings about how yesterdays love becomes today’s pain in a way that almost makes you crave the heartache. “Redemption”, the title track, is one that you need to listen to whenever you get tired of the struggles of love and live… “We’ve gotta keep on keeping on!”

 

From his voice to the musical arrangement to the unobtrusive infusion with broken English, Igbo and various Nigerian musical instruments, I am totally incapable of even starting to describe Dozie’s road to Redemption. It is a musical adventure with unexpected twist and turns that just continue to exceed any expectation you could possibly have. You’re just going to have to experience this one yourself!

 

“Redemption” has held down slot #1 in my Car CD changer since the day I bought it back in ’06. This is a CD that you have to listen to in three dimensions: One for the music, one for the lyrics and one for “the two both of them” together (if you dare!).

 

5 Shekeres seems insufficient for this one but that’s as bad as it gets!

 

www.dozie.com

www.cdbaby.com/cd/dozie2

 

Missing Plane – Senators Want Top Aviation Officials Sacked

At first I thought this reaction was fueled by our usual jungle justice mentality but apparently there’s more to it than meets the eye.

First of all the story was…

“THE wreckage of the missing Beechcraft 1900D plane owned by Wings Aviation was found yesterday at Nbagu village in Yala Local Government Area of Cross River State, according to the Minister of State for Air Transportation, Mr. Felix Hyatt.”

Then it became:

“Uncertainty and confusion yesterday took the better of the country’s aviation sector following an embarrassing discovery that an earlier claim by one of the agencies that the missing Wings Aviation aircraft had been found was totally false.“

and then long story come start…

“According to Obock, “We engaged the services of local farmers and hunters who came with their dogs to help us locate the plane. We have been at it since midnight on Sunday till late Monday evening and have not been able to locate the crash site. Fisher men who claimed to have seen the plane did not come up to tell us where it is. We have decided to suspend the search today till tomorrow because of the bad weather.“

And now:

“SENATORS, yesterday, demanded the resignation of senior officials in the aviation sector following what they described as embarrassing failure to find the Wings Aviation plane four days after it went missing.“

Unfortunately and sadly, three lives have probably been lost in this confusion.

Is it me or does this sounds like a Fela song in the making? 

I beg, make we go Shrine briefly. Baba dey sing…

“Abracadabraaaaa, Plane don reappeeeaaarr…”

“Abracadabrooooo, Plane come disappeeeaaarr…”

Two new categories are born today, Naija News & Felasophy.

The “Good Naija Wife” Guide

From Housekeeping  NaijaWives Monthly, 13 May, 1955 2007.

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in comb your hair and be fresh-looking. Make sure you don’t smell like Iya Basirat after cooking all day. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
5. During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. If it is hot and there is no NEPA, fan him gently to cool him off . Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
6. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum blender as you are grinding pepper or beans for moinmoin. Encourage the children to be quiet.
7. Be happy to see him.
8. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
9. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
10. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
11. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work or while he was hanging out with the boys or chilling with his girlfriend.
12. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink criminally cold bottle of beer ready for him.
13. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
14. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
15. A good wife always knows her place.

I’m putting out my disclaimer before I get a beat down for this post (LOL!). I did NOT write it o! (The original post is HERE ). I don’t sanction, support or agree with any of the contents. I only “adapted” it for todays “Good Naija Woman” (GNW) wannabe and to support some observations I have made over the years.

As ridiculous as all this sounds, some of us (men and women alike) have been brainwashed into a perception of what/who a “good” Naija woman is. What makes this unfortunate is that some Naija women actually make efforts to follow the “good Naija woman” script. Ask any dude to describe a good Naijawoman and I can bet it won’t be too far from the list of items above.

Even our own Linda responded to my Vice houseboy post with the following comment… “I cook, I clean, do laundry and drive myself. I pass housemaid. The worst part be say, anyday I decide to answer to any man now. I automatically become his maid.”

Like the false prophet (Obejay) said, the greatest lie is the one you tell your self. This behavior is clearly not sustainable and this is why tings dey scatter after two or three years.

Naijamans advice? This is 2008. Just be real. If he really wants you, he’ll accept you for who you are!

Protected: I don tire for Naija babes! (Part 1)

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Naija Jams…

A few years back, shortly after I realized that the Naijaman in me was here to stay, I started getting into Naijajams. Songs like Olufunmi by StylPlus and African Queen by TuFace became instant hits and started getting the popular vote. A few friends sent me a couple of CD’s from Naija that you could “Ju Pa” to and I was hooked. I returned to Naija after being away for almost 10 years and came back 2 weeks later armed with enough danshikis and Naija CD’s to rock the summer. At last, I was officially Naijarized and the rest is history in the making…

Let’s call this category Gbedu!

The things we do…

In case you are wondering what the picture about is about, it’s a “safe” view of Naijaman sitting in a make up chair at the mall. Wetin I find go there? I beg o, I wasn’t trying on mascara just waiting “patiently” for my friend to decide what combination of length & volume was best for her eyelashes…

Another category for discussions has been born.

Let’s call it “omoge“.

Vice President Houseboy

Last night, I decided to get a head start on the weekends chores and clean the kitchen. I soon decided this whole swifter business wasn’t cutting it and I graduated to a bucket and a scrubbing brush. (After all, I be Naijaman!). As I was on my knees scrubbing the floor, I started to reflect on the contents of a leadership class I had taken earlier on in the day and while I was thinking about my strengths and the different roles I play in the organization it suddenly dawned on me… At that particular moment in time, I was nothing but a HOUSEBOY! 

At my age, if I was in Naija and someone from the village walked in and saw me washing the floor, they would think I had been cursed or something.  Na wetin America don cause be dis o!

Now, not to say that I can’t pay someone $100 to clean my house every 2 weeks. I actually started doing that last year and wasn’t that impressed with the quality of work or comfortable with the idea of having random strangers roaming around my house and decided to go back to doing it myself. 

This is the first in the series of what I am calling Naija Dreams. Can somebody PLEASE wake me up from this American dream?